Spieker Connection

 TRUST IS SO NECESSARY FOR HAPPINESS IN RELATIONSHIPS I think one of the most important pieces in a relationship is trust.  Trust is an unspoken promise that once broken, is rarely ever regained.  The loss of trust is most certainly a topic that I can blog about because the wound feels very similar to an emotional loss or a dramatic change event in life.  The loss of trust cuts very deeply and often takes a while before it heals over. Breaking trust is a form of betrayal and often will seep into your life without warning or recognition. It happens so quickly and swiftly that it happens, and then like an aftershock, leaves you in a state of disbelief and torment.  For what you thought and believed in, can no longer be believed.  Once it is gone, most certainly the dynamics of … [Read more...]

It can happen to anyone where someone out there is dastardly and evil enough to steal your identity and take away your life as you know it through vaporizing your identity for themselves.  I guess it is happening everywhere to a lot of good hard working people.  I have run into some small forms of it personally where your identity "is compromised" and your heart beats about 1000 beats per minute while you scramble to make sure they haven't taken any of the money you have in any of your accounts.    To those who have been through it great job and to those who are protecting yourself from the possibility of it happening, hang in there and play it smart. The reason I titled this article about losing yourself during a crisis to identity theft is because I've interviewed enough people … [Read more...]

Have you ever wondered what makes a good day good and what makes a bad day well, bad?  I have and I can tell you without a doubt, "the tone" begins the minute you open your eyes  and the first thought that crosses your mind will most likely set the tone for the day.    There is a thought that crosses your mind immediately upon opening your eyes.  It could be anything from, man it is still dark out, or wow, I slept that late?  For others, the thought might consist of the health theme.  When you move and your body aches you might start to think things that are physically bothering you and you might obsess about your health.  Or you feel your body jiggle when you move and you hate the way your body feels because you've gained that extra weight and now you don't like yourself heavier … [Read more...]

   Look for the Color In Life!   When you have been through the fire as some say I have and have come through it on the other side, there is a lot to be said for how one feels after the fog of grieving or depression has lifted.   I always say you  to those I am coaching  "you don't know how bad you were feeling, until you start feeling better.   The positive thoughts that we awake with in the morning, is a very good indication that your spirits are lifting and your psyche is getting it's arms around "moving forward'. The thoughts you begin your day with can ultimately determine how your day will go. It is hard however to begin each day with a flowing stream of positive thoughts when your hope has been shattered.  I am here to be a living testament  that the loss of … [Read more...]

Loss, although most articles are conventionally focused on the emotional response to loss, loss also has physical, cognitive, behavioral, social, and philosophical dimensions that can trip us up for quite some time.  Some people experience loss a lot more than others and some have it a lot earlier in life or more devastating.  I think loss comes at us without a lot of preparation because we don’t start out in life or each day thinking “I’m going to lose today”.  We just don’t.  We do not cognitively work that way thinking that we are going to lose something today.  It isn’t a normal condition, but maybe realizing early on in life that The Cinderella Complex is really is a “fairy tale” and the dream like story is best left to those who want to dip in and out of reality, … [Read more...]